Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
