My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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