She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
