I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That accounts for only three of the penises
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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