Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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