My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
