GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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