paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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