So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
