what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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