The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
