More tranny stories later!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
