K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize