People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
