were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
