Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
