My liver just broke up with me...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
