I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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