woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
