big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
