Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
