Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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