He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
