making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
