I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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