he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
