5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
