I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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