she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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