this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
