only if we run a train.
done.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Text me some of your sweat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
