Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She bit a glass in half.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
