hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
