Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
