You just made me feel so damn special
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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