Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
