What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
