He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
