Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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