i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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