Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
