She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
