you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i came on her dog
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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