Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
