What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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