I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
