I puked a lego.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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