I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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