i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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