Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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