trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Someone signed my nipple.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
