You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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