I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
