Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
