I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
