Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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