I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
