What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Are my feet made of real feet?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
