I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
