I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
