mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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