Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
