i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize