So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
