I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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