Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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