When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My pussy is not your playground.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
