there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
